mood: enthralled
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I finally got a myspace account. woo!
I don't remember when I updated this last, but B and I decided to begin trying to start a family soon. I'm so excited, I love kids and can't wait to have my own. It's a long time coming, been waiting for a couple of years. But now that we own our own house and quit all the partying a couple years ago, we're ready. We've both grown up so much, and I'm glad we waited to start trying until we were at the point we're at now.
Life is Great, and I love my husband. |
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mood:  jubilant
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I love my husband. I don't know how to say it any more then that. Five years together, almost, and almost a year married; and I'm still happy all the time with him. We've got something rare, that's for sure.
And... Maybe... Maybe baby in the next year or two. I can't wait; at the same time the whole idea terrifies me. :-P I suppose that's natural, but I am so ready to be a mom.
!! :)
God, I love that man. |
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I have the internet at home now!
I don't think more then one or two people read this anymore, and I really don't like the layout of facebook or myspace.
So, looks like I get to be by my lonesome here on livejournal. :-)
New email addy, schmitth@att.net |
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God I miss those kids.
She would likely hate me even more if she knew how much I miss them..
Truth is, I never would have dated, let alone married, Ben if I didn't love those children.
And I will never step on her toes. She is their mother, and I would never try to take that title from her; in any way.
There are so many things I wish she knew.. He never cheated on her with me. We didn't even kiss until about two months after he'd moved out.
I don't think her knowing would make a difference now, though. Water under the bridge.
I have so much respect for her.. That's another thing she'll likey never understand. She's done a damn fine job raising those kids, and I can only imagine the sacrifices she's made. And I can't say I disagree with her past choices. Ben screwed up, a lot. ( I did as well.)
But we're different now. I don't think she could imagine how much Ben has matured. Even peter pan grows up, someday. ;-)
Now he's really ready to be a great father to them.
The kids are being hurt by this.. Tyler and Jaiden ask about him every time they're at Mari Lous. Gabe and 'Layna are going to have some tough questions.
Most of all, though, Julie is going to be hurt. When they find out she's the reason they didn't see their dad... It's going to blow up in her face. They will find out, not from Ben, though. He will never say anything negative about their mom to them, not in the least. But kids aren't dumb, and as they mature, they'll see.
I just hope they can see, as I do, that she was doing her best by them always, and that even mothers make mistakes. It will be easier on them if they do.
I just wish there was someway for Julie to know Ben as he is now, not as he was. And for both of them to put their past together aside, and look to the current and future of the kids.
At the very least, we could give her a hand. Cut what she's paying in daycare and day-to-day life, by watching the kids.. We're setting up a room for them with toys and all, for whenever the day comes. |
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So, one of the local rescues is hoping I'll foster and possibly adopt a spiny-tail iguana. They do mammals, and I'm the only local reptile rescue.
Problem is, I'm torn between not waanting more critters of my own, and REALLY wanting this guy.
:-)
I need to evaluate him. Some sub-species within the ctenosaura hemolphila group are endangered, in which case we'd be looking at finding a responsible zoo.
We'll see... |
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I just voted.
Boo to the ballot style!
Go Vote! It's important. |
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mood: excited
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We bought a house today!!
Moving in next week, hopefully.
Yay! It will be all ours. And we've already paid in full for it.
We may be looking for a roomate. Let me know if you're interested! |
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I've been looking up old friends on myspace..
Feeling pretty melencholy at the moment.
Where did I go wrong?
Did I go 'wrong' at all?
Should have payed more attention in DARE, maybe.
Life is the most confusing multiple-choice exam ever. |
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mood:  anxious
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Feeling a little stressed out right now.. Make that more then a little. :-P
Ben went into the ER tonight after he got sent home from work.. He was chasing Coop on Sunday and fell down a good sized very steep hill. He hurt his ankle quite a bit. It's swollen to the size of a baseball and completely black and blue.
Well they did X-rays, and he has a severe sprain, torn ligaments, and torn tendons.
That's major stuff. He's in a cast, on crutches. He put any weight on it, and thus can't work, until at least Saturday, and has to set up an appointment with his regular doctor to be released to go back to work.
Neither of us have insurance. So the ER and his regular doc, all out of pocket.
And we have to find a way to pay his child support and the rest of the bills. He fell Sunday night, switched his day off to have monday off, and got sent home today. That means at least a week of no work for him, which combined with the hospital bills is going to be tough.
Very tough.
Maybe we'll find a winning lotto ticket around?
Gotta think positive, you know. :-/ |
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